god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
