i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
