Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Let's paint friendship bongs
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
