In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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