Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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