Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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