Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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