I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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