Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
