your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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