He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
