You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize