I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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