sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
