honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
