ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
