Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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