I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he wants to bone in the snuggie
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
