I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
