Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
