he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
