My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
