I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
