Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
