billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
