You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
