Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
