oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
