There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
