do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
