I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
