woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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