so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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