Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
