dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
