ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
