Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize