Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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