Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
