i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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