Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
