and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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