Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm really into asian looking animals
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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