If i come over, it means nothing
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize
