she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Let's get the cat blown out
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
