sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
