Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize