My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
