what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize