walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
