I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
