you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
