why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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