I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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