I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
