I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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