I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
