a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
