She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
