I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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