At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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