marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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