I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
