My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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