Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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