When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
