Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you win again, gameday.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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