sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
