you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
