I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
