I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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