he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
