Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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