I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
