Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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